Role Model Relationships: Making healthy human connections

By Peg L. Smith, CEO, American Camp Association

All parents have hopes and desires for their children. I'll bet high on your list of wishes is that your children grow up to be well-adjusted adults who have healthy, nurturing relationships of their own. The example you set for them at home is vital, but so is the experience and advice they can get from other caring adults. Hopefully, your children get positive reinforcement from teachers, extended family members, and other community leaders in your area, but camp is another excellent source for finding mentors who can help kids navigate the sometimes treacherous waters of adolescence, figure out who they are and who they want to be on the road to adulthood.

Audrey Monke, owner and director of Gold Arrow Camp in Lakeshore, Cal., said, "Children intuitively know that their parents think highly of them. When an adult outside their family finds something unique and special about them, it can have a powerful and positive influence on them."

She believes that children grow from the independence of a camp experience and from developing close relationships at camp with fellow campers and counselors.  "Being away from their parents allows children to be more open to developing relationships with other adults," Monke said. "These adults serve as positive role models and mentors for children and can sometimes offer insight and advice that children may not listen to from parents."

Child psychologist in the Cleveland, Ohio, area and former camp counselor Dr. Ethan Schafer agrees that the camp experience offers children a valuable personal growth opportunity that acts as a strong complement to the values and sense of self awareness they learn at home.

"If you think about it," Schafer said, "camp is probably the only living together situation outside of the home that children will experience. They get a chance to have healthy attachments with other adult role models."

So, while it may not be easy to pack your child's suitcase, hug them tightly, and load them on a bus to send them off to camp for a week or more without you, Monke feels the camp environment is important because, "Children need to learn to trust adults outside of their family and to feel safe outside home.

"We are living in a culture that has instilled fear in parents," she said. "Parents are hesitant to entrust their children to the care of others, but opportunities for children to develop healthy relationships with adult mentors offer the chance for children to grow in independence, social skills, and confidence."

Schafer confirmed that time with nurturing camp counselors shows kids that "adults are helpful, good — they're nice," he said. "They learn to be adults themselves."

Antoine de Saint Exupéry, French writer and author of The Little Prince, once said, "There is no joy except in human relationships." If that's true, then a camp experience surrounded by caring, encouraging counselors who teach by example is one great way to reinforce what you're striving to teach your children at home: that the benefits of healthy adult relationships — punctuated by mutual respect, understanding, generosity, and contentment — can lead to productive and, yes, joyful lives.

Expert Advice For other insightful guidance on benefits and what to expect from your children's camp experience, visit Expert Advice About Camp.

Peg L. Smith is the chief executive officer of the American Camp Association.

Your Child’s Camp Experience Benefits You, Too

Your Child’s Camp Experience Benefits You, Too

In today’s world, parents can feel external pressure to make sure children are involved in the “right” activities, get into the “right” schools or classes, and — oh yeah — that they’re having fun, too!

But what if there is a way to instill independence and ownership in children — not to mention, resiliency — so that they want to achieve their own brand of success and navigate an ever-changing world? Camp experiences are excellent ways for children to learn these skills.

And those same experiences — where children learn to take healthy risks, make friends, and live as their own individuals within a supportive community — benefit parents, too! When children are at camp, new parenting perspectives abound.

In a recent interview for TIME’s Healthland, author and psychologist Michael Thompson, PhD, says that for parents who feel they must be “constantly supervising and monitoring," sending a child to camp "throws you up against your own philosophy and habits of constant supervision and control. When you send your child to camp, you have to give that up.”

New studies are finding that intensive parenting — defined as “being involved in every aspect of a child’s life” and always putting your child's needs before your own — can be detrimental to the mental health of parents, specifically mothers.

But when children are at camp, knowing they’re in a developmentally appropriate setting and thriving all on their own alleviates the pressure many parents may feel to be overly involved.

It’s time to add parents to the list of those who gain positive development from a camp experience — a win/win for parents and children!

Photo courtesy of Cheley Colorado Camps, Estes Park, Colorado
http://www.acacamps.org/blog/parents-place

Practicing Independence

Practicing Independence

At camp, some kids practice sports, some practice instruments, and some practice their belly flops. But one thing that ALL campers practice is independence!

Camp provides a nurturing and safe environment for kids to face challenges on their own, and that can be incredibly constructive to a child’s character.

In a recent Washington Post interview, author and psychologist Michael Thompson, PhD, put it this way: “I think camp is the best emotional preparation for a successful college experience, because you practice being on your own, keeping track of your clothes; you practice living in a community and getting along with roommates you don’t love — all of the skills you need for true independence.”

And when kids have had the experience of overcoming a challenge on their own, it gives them a positive memory to draw from when facing future obstacles; say, preparing for that really big math test or interviewing for that first job.

This summer, campers will certainly have an experience that lasts a lifetime — discovering their own strength!

Read more from Michael Thompson in his recently released book, Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow.

Photo courtesy of Camp John Marc in Meridian, Texas.

http://www.acacamps.org/blog/parents-place

Keep camp in summer

Published: July 6, 2009 5:33 AM - http://www.newsday.com/opinion/keep-camp-in-summer-1.1274805
By MARLA COLEMAN  

Marla Coleman is a past president of the American Camp Association. She and her family own Coleman Country Day Camp in Merrick. President Barack Obama's ambitious plans for reforming the nation's schools include extending the length of the school year. "You're competing for jobs with kids from India and China," Obama's Education Secretary Arne Duncan told students recently in Denver. "Schools should be open six, seven days a week; eleven, twelve months a year." If this sounds like a pretty good idea, think about this: It would mean the end of summer camp as we know it. After 150 years, this would be tragic for American education. Whether it's day camp or sleepaway, children learn what they cannot glean in school. A nation whose top priority is education in the broadest sense needs to have camp as a cornerstone of learning. One mother I know compares the morning ritual of donning the camp shirt to "changing into a Superman cape" for her son, because of the self-confidence he gets. Just about anyone who has been to camp knows the feeling. It's one of the lessons that camp, as an informal, experiential learning community, teaches better than school. Campers develop more sophisticated social skills and grow more independent, more adventurous and more willing to try new things. A parent once told me that the family was on a ski vacation, and his son was apprehensive at the top of a difficult run. The father "talked him down" by making this simple statement: "Pretend you are at camp. What would you do?" The child responded, "Thanks, Dad, I've got it from here." Down the slope he went. The skills camp teaches are also crucial for competing successfully in the adult world. Daniel Goleman, psychologist and author of "Emotional Intelligence," discovered in his studies of highly successful adults that it wasn't grades but other qualities that distinguished them from peers: empathy, optimism, teamwork and the ability to bounce back from failure. These are not subjects offered at school. The teacher-centric mode of instruction isn't favorable for encouraging human connections; classroom walls limit hands-on experience in the natural world. Even a champion for year-round school wrote recently in The Washington Post that her children learn more during camp-like intersessions in their modified-calendar school than in the classroom: "My daughter had no idea that she was learning chemistry when her Harry Potter class made butter beer and chocolate frogs. My son developed a much better grasp of plot and character when he had to create both on film." This is how learning happens at camp every day. In school, we learn about biology by dissecting a dead critter, whereas at camp, we observe the wonder of the living world by trying to grasp a hopping amphibian in its natural habitat. And research shows that increased contact with nature can improve problem-solving, creativity, self-esteem and self-discipline. It's not that school has failed, but that camp is also essential. Might they be the yin and yang of education? Because camp doesn't teach to a standardized test, and keeps no grades or permanent records, children are free to go at their own pace to conquer their fears. One child whose dread of horses left him afraid even to get on a carousel, for example, sat self-assuredly on a horse at camp within a few weeks. Time after time, parents will describe their child as defiant or teachers will label a child as a poor listener, while camp counselors manage to channel the same child's energy onto the courts, fields, stages or workshops. Children often shine when they can focus on what they are good at. Philliber Research studied 80 camps in 2003 and 2004 and noted significant growth in campers' self-esteem, independence, leadership, friendship skills, social comfort, peer relationships, courage, environmental awareness, ethics and spirituality. A national survey conducted in 2007 by TRU, a youth research company, found that middle and high school students who attended camp are less likely than non-campers to say they drink, use marijuana or engage in sexual behavior. They also may be less prone to obesity. Text-messaging, e-mail and video games, have made children more sedentary than ever. From this point of view, increasing the amount of time spent at a school or homework desk by hours, days or months is not a feasible solution for improving education. But let's say Obama's plan passes, and it becomes impossible to have summer camp. Is there any hope of salvaging some of the experience? Already camps partner with schools, offering after-school care, weekend and extended-vacation camp experiences. We would see more of this, though these programs lack the unique design and intentions of a camp community. Unless we are certain that more of the same will yield better educational results, as opposed to what we get from a more holistic approach, we must defend the camp tradition. Remember, more school does not equal better-educated children. As one veteran youth counselor says, "School prepares you for college. Camp prepares you for life."

Keep Good Camp Habits Alive

Posted: September 11, 2012

Many campers have returned home for the remainder of summer, and you may have noticed something about their behavior — their manners!

The entire camp experience is made of teachable moments, and perhaps one of the biggest is how to live with a group of people. Campers learn to pick up after themselves, respect each other’s property, and say “Please” and “Thank You.”

Keep your camper’s good habits alive long after the summer is over:

• Remember to Remind — When campers come home, they often keep the spirit of camp alive for a week or two, and then things trail off. Use positive reinforcement to remind campers that you appreciate the positive attitude and willingness to help that they developed at camp.
• Become Camp-Like — Families can set the example by demonstrating a willingness to change something at home in order to sustain some of the changes campers have made. Bob Ditter, a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist, suggests: "Parents have to make a decision. Are they willing to change something in their practice at home in order to sustain some of the changes their kids have made, such as having a job wheel that you put up on the wall outlining chores?"
• Everyone Gets a Say — At camp, children help determine how their day is spent. Their advice is actively sought, and they feel like equal players. Emulating this environment at home allows them to continue to stand up for themselves and feel like a contributing member of the household.
• Avoid the Negative Compliment — Don't inadvertently sabotage efforts by pointing out differences in behavior. Instead of saying, "you never did this before," praise the behaviors in a genuine way. For example, "I noticed how patient you were with your little brother."

Try This!
Family Day — A Day to Eat Dinner with Your Children will be celebrated nationwide on Monday, September 24. Take the opportunity to sit down with the whole family and reinforce your child’s good camp habits during the meal:

• Let your child help choose what’s for dinner (something healthy, maybe even a favorite meal from camp!)
• Ask your child to help set the table and clear the dishes — and ask them how the camp handled these tasks
• Use the meal time interaction to talk about favorite camps stories, songs, friends, and even plans for next summer
• Thank your child for helping with the dinner, and compliment his or her responsible habits

Photo courtesy of Camp Killoqua near Everett, Washington

Tags: good habits

http://www.acacamps.org/blog/parents-place/keep-good-camp-habits-alive

July 17th Blog for Pony Farm Families

            What a fantastic session we are having with your children and grandchildren.  As we hit the mid-point of the summer, I cannot believe how time is zooming by.  The adage that “Time flies when you are having fun” is really true.  We are loving these kids and hate to think that the session is drawing nigh…Arghhh, I hate saying good bye to great kids!

            As you know, last week was geared to getting the kids to know each other and preparing for the horse show. I hope you have loved all of Becky’s fun pictures and quotes.  The kids are really enjoying each other and we surely have packed the schedule.  Between solid riding lessons, singing, skits, stable management, swimming, Talent Show, pony dress up, jumping courses, more swimming, trail rides, field trips, did I say swimming, Personal Scavenger Hunts, presentations about show ring etiquette, swimming with the horses and trips to the Wilton Falls, there has not been a dull moment or a cross word.  The kids are being such troopers with the extremely hot and muggy weather.  We have also been most pleased with the teaching staff, the nurses and the kitchen team.  We are lucky to have found a magic combination this summer.

            However, it is this week that I really enjoy as it is all the things other than the horse show.  We have had time to do the Ice Cream Trough, bareback, vaulting (aka gymnastics on the moving horse), wading in the creek on ponies bareback, Cascino Night, the Hunter Pace and a visit to the Nursing home where my Mom is living.  Let me tell you about these adventures so you can be a ‘fly on the wall’ at camp and catch the spirit of fun that abounds!!!

            My own favorite was taking 12 campers, 12 animals and 4 staff to the nursing home where my Mom lives at the great age of 90.  You would have been moved to tears watching those girls interface with the old folks.  They were kind, considerate, polite, respectful, engaging, endearing, delightful and just plain GREAT.  I actually had tears in my eyes several times during the wonderful afternoon. We took two miniature horses, two goats, two sheep, two rabbits, two chicken and two dogs.  We looked kind of like Noah’s Arc upon arrival.  We had cars, trailers, halters, baskets and crates to bring everyone there.  We also brought an obstacle course complete with two jumps to show the residents.  They simply loved seeing the kids and animals.  One lady who has Alzheimers and literally screams and shouts all day long was quiet for an entire hour of being with the animals and kids. She patted each and every animal and was so much at peace. Others sat with the chickens or bunnies, or my little dog, Oscar, on their laps.  The staff of the home had made juice and cookies for everyone to share. Not a drop remained by the end.

            It was absolutely fantastic how great your kids were. I was so proud of them.  I often get mad when I hear people say that kids today are no good, and selfish and self-absorbed.  They clearly have not met our Pony Farmers!!!

            I also just got home from the first official Pony Farm Horse Show Team away horse show that took place at a farm about 30 minutes away from Touchstone.  Again, I was so very proud of the girls and of our coaching team, led by Andi.  She took six kids and four ponies.  The kids were in exactly the right classes and each did remarkably well.  Everyone pinned in every class with championships and reserves in all the divisions in which they competed.  Best of all, their sportsmanship, organization and turn-out was super.  The ponies were beautifully braided and sparkling clean.  The kids were immaculately dressed and, despite the temps being in the mid 90’s, they were dressed in their complete show attire.  With smiles all around, it was a most pleasant afternoon.  We also had super parents in attendance.  With parents like these, no wonder Pony Farmers turn out so well!  It was a great from beginning to end!

            While the show was happening, the rest of the campers did another camp favorite…The Hunter Pace.  This too was a great success.  The staff divides the girls into teams of riders with a rider from each group forming a team with two Team Captains.  The more experienced riders are tasked with keeping the group together and making good decisions out on the 5 mile track.  Safety checkpoints with staff carrying cell phone are set up ahead of time with complete directions as to how to keep things safe and fun.  The girls set out at different times and try to get to the optimum time to go for 5 miles.  The time is important, but not as important as teamwork.  Becky had a fun prize for the winning team which came in closest to the ideal time with peaceful ponies and happy team members.  It is a real camp ‘fav’ and such a good experience of decision making, cooperation and collaboration.  It is also a good break from the more formal lessons of camp and going round & round the ring!

            Tomorrow night is my all-time favorite camp activity which is the Pony Camping Trip.  We even have new tents for the occasion.  We will be bringing 4 ponies and tying them up overnight.  We cook our dinner and breakfast over the camp fire. I am sure we will eat way too many S’Mores!!!  We will then all gather around the evening campfire by the pond and tell stories of the farm and its people & horses.  I adore this evening as I feel like I get the kids all to myself!!!  We will have a glorious time I bet.  I am not sure who is more excited…me or the kids!

            We will also finish letting everyone swim with the horses.  We were not able to do this with half the camp as we ran out of good weather one afternoon.  Thunder, lightening and swimming doth not go well together!  So, we will also be doing that tomorrow.  The time will wrap up practicing for you when you come to see their riding demos on the last day. We hope you will find your child with a much stronger seat and legs, a big smile on her face, and a happy heart.

            So, as we plan our last days together for this session and build toward our final Candlelight Ceremony, let me thank you for sharing your kids with us.  They are fine, strong, capable, smart and fun young women, to the last one.  It is our pleasure and privilege to have them.  I am so proud of each of them and all that they can do.  Best of all I love the friendships that have formed between campers, staff and the horses.  In a fast paced, hectic world, it is so great to see them busy, active, involved and connected.  Thank you for giving us the opportunity to offer this to them.

                                                                                    See you Saturday!  Most fondly,

                                                                                    Boo

The Case for Camp — Why Kids Need It Now More Than Ever

By Peg L. Smith

Change is a part of life. It is often directly related to survival and can enrich one's life in ways unexpected. Childhood is in essence a time of profound change and development. It is exciting and disquieting at the same time. When it comes to our children, we need to be sure that change is made for the better.

We've been so concentrated on the brain, we forget about the rest of our bodies. This change in focus has lead to an obesity rate that is unacceptable. Our kids are not as healthy as the generation before.

Families used to live in a community. We've lost that, keeping kids inside and losing a sense of neighborhood.

Add to that the fact that our kids stand to inherit all the economic, social, and environmental challenges we've created, and the legacy we have left our children and youth begins to look bleak.

So, how do we prepare our children with the skills and more importantly, the competencies they will need to tackle changes in our world?  We could start with a positive camp experience. A quality camp experience provides our children with the opportunity to learn powerful lessons in community, character-building, skill development, and healthy living — a meaningful, engaged, and participatory environment.

Camp promotes community. It creates this great space that shows kids how to live together and care for one another. There are norms and negotiation of boundaries; there are rules. Camp is a place where kids can "practice" growing up stretching their social, emotional, physical, and cognitive muscles outside the context of their immediate family. This is what childhood is supposed to provide.

Camp teaches critical thinking. We need to remember how important it is to be actively involved in the learning process, and camp affords that. We're going to need really strong problem solvers in the next century. We need the science, math, and biology, but without the ability to relate, connect, empathize, or inspire innovation, how will our kids be able to make a difference in the challenges now facing us? 

The camp experience embraces the natural environment. While children have fewer and fewer opportunities to be outdoors, the camp experience advances the outdoor learning environment. As we become more concerned about saving the planet, we run out and make DVDs and videos about it. But the environment needs to be experienced to be appreciated. Kids need to catch tadpoles in the creek, wander among the trees, and feel the sun on their faces to understand the importance of those things. What happens to a generation that may grow up not seeing stars in the dark of the night?

Camp creates future leaders. The camp experience offers kids a close-up look at compassionate leadership through the camp director, counselors, resident nutritionist, and other camp personnel. And kids get loads of opportunities to practice being a leader themselves — song leader, lunch table leader, team captain, the list goes on and on.

Camp is an equal opportunity life changer. It addresses universal childhood needs not specific to a particular racial, ethnic, or socioeconomic group. Nobody is left out. It's all about childhood development.

Camp has a lasting impact. One of the greatest gifts you can give a child is a sense of success and achievement. Camp teaches kids how to be active participants, ask questions, ask for help, and try new things. They leave understanding that it's okay to feel a little uncomfortable sometimes, because that's generally what happens when you're getting ready to learn something. The camp experience translates back in real-world experience — in an "I can" attitude.

We need to advocate for our young people. We should promote opportunities for kids — give them camp experiences that serve as an antidote for the world's challenges. We need to recognize this is not a series of frivolous activities. We often think if it looks like fun it must be unimportant, but "fun" is a young person's "work" — to learn, to grow, to be productive, creative, and happy. If they don't do that work, they won't turn into healthy adults.

Now more than ever, kids need camp. Visit www.CampParents.org to find out how you can change a life by helping make it possible for every child to have a camp experience.

Peg L. Smith is the chief executive officer of the American Camp Association.

http://www.campparents.org/newsletter/0905/article3

AN IMPORTANT BEGINNING AND A HARD GOODBYE

Lindsey Mead lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts with her husband and two children. She attended Cape Cod Sea Camps (ACA Accredited) in Brewster, Massachusetts, for nine years while she was growing up, and it remains a very important place to her. She graduated from Princeton with a degree in English and received an MBA from Harvard. She works as an executive search consultant and also writes daily at her blog, A Design So Vast.

embrace

“Grace?” I knelt in front of her. She looked up at me, immediately sensing what I was going to say. A shadow fell over her eyes. “We’re going to go now.”

“What? Now?” Her face was stricken. We hadn’t talked about when we were going to go.

“Yes. Then you’ll have your swim test and start your afternoon with your friends.”

She threw her arms around me, beginning to cry. I looked up and met my husband’s eyes over her head and he motioned that we should leave. Still kneeling on the pool deck, I kissed her wet cheeks and looked her in the eye. “Grace. You know what?” I strained to keep the tears out of my voice. “I bet you anything that when we come back to get you, you will cry because you don’t want to leave.” She shook her head firmly, eyes closed. “Yes, you will. Now, it’s time for us to go. I love you, I will write to you, and I will be back before you know it. I promise.”

Then I stood up, turned, and walked away. The goodbye was hard, but I drew great comfort from the fact that Grace and Julia were bunkmates. Julia is the daughter of my best friend from camp, Jessica, from the very camp where we left our girls that morning, and it seemed like both yesterday and a lifetime ago that she and I had been the ones saying goodbye to our parents, walking across the bright green lawn in front of the Big House, feeling excitement and anxiety pulsing in our chests. Because of myriad reasons, chief among them my lifetime friendship with Jessica, I am a fierce believer in the power of the camp experience, and I was thrilled when Grace, at eight years old, wanted to experience it for herself.

My father always remarked that when I came home from camp, I’d grown up “years” in the weeks I’d been gone. I was prepared, therefore, to find a changed Grace when we arrived to pick her up ten days after our tearful goodbye. We parked in front of the familiar cabin and I jumped out of the car, excited to see my daughter again. She walked out of the cabin, surrounded by friends, oblivious to us, and I watched her for a second as she giggled with girls I’d never seen before. She looked totally comfortable, relaxed, and positively joyful. I was happy to see Julia right by her side, too. And then I called her name, she turned to me, and her face lit up. Our reunion was happy, but my prediction about her crying about leaving was spot on. Departing camp, her new friends, her cabin, and her counselors was difficult for Grace, and she cried on and off the whole way home.

Because of my own camp experience I viewed this as a huge positive. Several people remarked on how it must have made me sad or rejected to see her miss camp so much, and my response was always the same. “To the contrary,” I always said, “it delighted me.” She had had a wonderful time, and we had been right to send her.

The first few days after getting home were filled with a constant cascade of stories, snatches of songs, and photographs. I let the stream of her happy experience wash over me, startling when certain things — songs, in particular — were familiar from my own time at camp. There were new activities she had tried: archery, sailing, painting enamel pieces. She didn’t succeed at or love all of them, but she was cheerful about all of her experiences. I remembered how much of camp for me had been about learning to have a positive attitude no matter what.

More than any specific new capability or even any one story of a joyful experience, though, what Grace brought home from camp was an ineffable, hard-to-pinpoint sense of confidence. She had gone to sleepover camp, she had said goodbye to me, and she had loved it. A light cloak of self-assurance settled around her shoulders and permeated all of her dealings with the world. To watch this happen with my almost-tween made me incredibly glad. She doesn’t talk about camp a whole lot now, being more fully immersed in third grade. But she has already asked to go for three and a half weeks next summer.

http://www.acanewengland.org/families-public/smore-about-camp-a-blog-for-camp-families/an-important-beginning-and-a-hard-goodbye

Psychological Aspects

Camp and Youth Development Outcomes

Parents want the best opportunities for their children. They want them to have whatever it takes to be happy and successful — good health, ability to get along with others, thinking and problem-solving skills, a good self-concept. Children need resiliency skills: self-esteem, life skills, self-reliance, and prosocial behaviors. The camp experience offers a nurturing environment away from the distractions and, in some cases, hostile environment of the city.

Peter Scales, Ph.D., is a senior fellow with the Search Institute in Minneapolis. A noted educator, author, and psychologist, Dr. Scales says, "Camp is one of the few institutions where young people can experience and satisfy their need for physical activity, creative expression, and true participation in a community environment. Most schools don't satisfy all these needs."

In recent years, camps have put a greater emphasis on what leaders in the child development field have been saying about the needs of children today. Camp activities and group living in a natural environment are the tools used to create camp communities that provide for successful, healthy development and a place where having fun is a daily criterion. In such a structured environment, children interact with positive role models who have time to listen, talk, relax, and reflect. They learn to work together, make choices, take responsibility, develop creative skills, build independence and self-reliance, and gain confidence. All are necessary steps on a child's path to a healthy, productive life.

Advice from the Experts

The camp experience is recognized by child development professionals as valuable in helping children mature socially, emotionally, intellectually, morally, and physically.

"The building blocks of self-esteem are belonging, learning, and contributing. Camps offer unique opportunities for children to succeed in these three vital areas and even beyond home and school."
Michael Popkin, Ph.D., family therapist and founder of Active Parenting

"The biggest plus of camp is that camps help young people discover and explore their talents, interests, and values. Most schools don't satisfy all these needs. Kids who have had these kinds of (camp) experiences end up being healthier and have less problems which concern us all."
Peter Scales, Ph.D., noted author/educator, and Senior Fellow, The Search Institute

Child Development Experts Endorse Concept of Camp as "Community" for Children

Noted experts in child development have expressed their thoughts on summer camp as a valuable resource for giving children the value of belonging to a community of their own. This position is being forwarded by the American Camp Association, which believes that the critically important sense of community for children is rooted in enabling and empowering children to be belonging, cooperating, contributing, and caring citizens.

Bruce Muchnick, licensed psychologist who works extensively with day and resident camps, said, "Each summer at camp a unique setting is created, a community is constructed that allows participants to get in touch with a sense of life that is larger than one's self. The camp community seeks to satisfy children's basic need for connectedness, affiliation, belonging, acceptance, safety, and feelings of acceptance and appreciation."

Bob Ditter, licensed clinical social worker specializing in child and adolescent treatment, added, "It is in the crucible of this community that children gain self-esteem with humility, overcome their inflated sense of self, and develop a lifelong sense of grace and wonder."

Michael Brandwein, noted speaker and consultant to the camp profession, continued, "What makes camp a special community is its focus on celebrating effort. In this less pressured atmosphere, children learn more readily what positive things to say and do when they make mistakes and face challenges. Brandwein also said, "The traditions and customs of each different camp are like a secret code that allows those who know it to feel embraced by something unique and special."

He continued, "Campers are urged to include, not exclude, others. They are praised for choosing new partners and not always the same ones. They are encouraged to respect the differences between people. In an increasingly sarcastic, put-down-oriented world, camps aim to be an oasis of personal safety where demeaning comments and disrespectful behavior are not tolerated, and children are taught responsible and positive ways to resolve conflicts."

U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, former chair of America's Promise — The Alliance for Youth, had his own perspective on the value of a summer camp experience for children: "It gets them away from a neighborhood or situation that may exist in their neighborhoods that isn't healthy . . . It teaches them how to get along with other people — both other young people as well as adults. To give our children a safe place to learn and grow — camp does that."

Originally published in the ACA Media Center.

Resources for Parents of Homesick Campers

Resources for Parents of Homesick Campers

Homesickness happens. It’s normal for children to experience a little of it and it’s also normal for parents and family members to worry when they do. In fact, it’s even normal to worry that childrenmight feel homesick.  But, instead of worrying, there are actions you can take and there’s reassurance we want campers and families to have.

1. Camp people are here for you! Counselors and others who work at camp know what to do when homesickness happens. Long before campers arrive, counselors learn the camp’s ways of helping children who are missing home. The transition to camp is a big one; camps put a lot of energy into partnering with families to help children succeed at camp. When homesickness happens, campers need a little extra support and their families need to know how things are going. Camps partner with families; the folks at camp care about how your child is adjusting. You have a camp family now. Pay attention to what they have to say on this important subject!

2. Talk about homesickness before camp! Help your camper make a plan about what to do if homesickness happens. Encourage your child to seek homesickness advice or help from a counselor as part of the plan. Maybe there’s a small but special picture or memento that can provide comfort to the child—a reassuring note or a stuffed animal for instance. Being prepared ahead of time and enacting a plan that has already been made is a very different experience than simply reacting to homesickness in the moment. The one thing that should not be part of your homesickness plan is a rescue plan, however. Express confidence in your camper’s ability to overcome homesickness (with the help of counselors) IF it happens; invest your energy in making the camp experience successful, not ending it early.

3. Learn all about homesickness and how overcoming it is one of the most empowering experiences a camper can have!

• Michael Thompson, Ph.D., as popular with schools as he is with parents, is out with a new book,Homesick and Happy, which is full of excellent advice. Time away from parents can really help a child grow as Dr. Thompson outlines in this Washington Post interview!
• View Friday’s Today Show segment on homesickness.
• Check out this practical advice from homesickness expert Dr. Chris Thurber, school psychologist at Phillips Exeter Academy and frequent presenter at the ACA New England Conference, which is attended by 800+ camp professionals annually.

4. Focus on supporting your camper while at camp! Have you written some upbeat notes and letters and sent packages?

5. After camp is over, remember to discuss homesickness with your child. What helped? What would have helped? How do you both feel now that you’re on the other side of it? Reflect on how the experience of overcoming homesickness without "rescue" from parents has allowed you both to grow.  While homesickness is not fun, working through it almost always proves to be an indelible experience for both parent and child.

http://www.acanewengland.org/families-public/smore-about-camp-a-blog-for-camp-families/what-to-do-if-homesickness-hits

What Kids Need to Succeed

An Interview with Paul Tough

http://www.campparents.org/newsletter/1303/what-kids-need-succeed

Paul Tough, author of How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character, is a contributing writer to the New York Times Magazine and has been featured on television and radio stations like PBS, MSNBC, and NPR, and in TIME Magazine, USA Today, and the New York Times. ACA recently spoke with Tough about why character strengths are critical to success and what camps offer kids as unique learning environments.

What are the key ingredients to success — the qualities that a child must have to become a successful adult?
I think kids need many different things. But the basic thesis of my book is that, in this country for the past couple decades, we’ve been overemphasizing IQ as the one measure of whether a child will succeed or fail. We’ve been very focused on this narrow set of cognitive skills that get measured on standardized tests.

And while cognitive skills certainly do matter, the scientists and educators who I wrote about in my book have identified a different set of skills that they say matter a whole lot in a child’s success. These are skills like grit, curiosity, perseverance, conscientiousness, and optimism.

I’m convinced by the research and by my reporting that these skills really do matter a great deal to a child’s success.

Do you think more people in general are starting to pay attention to noncognitive skills and their connection to success? This has been something that camps have recognized for years.
I do — very much so. When I started researching this book even just a few years ago, it still felt like a pretty quiet discussion. It felt like a discussion that was going on only in a fragmented way in different fields and in various organizations.

Over the past few years, I’ve noticed how much this topic has emerged as a central one for educators, pediatricians, people working in government, and people working for youth development organizations.

It may just be that the rest of the world is catching up with the camp community, but I think it’s a conversation that’s going on in a lot of places now. Many people are coming to understand that these skills are really important for children’s success.

How do you successfully explain to parents and educators the value of character?
My sense is that parents don’t need a lot of convincing on the basic question of whether these character strengths matter. I’ve spent a lot of time over the past few months talking to parents and teachers in many different settings, and they’ve been very responsive to the idea that character matters in a child’s success.

I think parents can sometimes get frustrated with the fact that we don’t yet know what the perfect curriculum is; we don’t yet know the perfect way to develop these skills. But still, I think the idea that these skills matter resonates with parents and educators on a deep level. They know it from their own lives. They see it in their own kids. So they’re eager to accept this idea and embrace this idea when it’s presented to them as something that really matters.

Camp provides the opportunity for both autonomy and support, which is often not provided at home. What are your thoughts on the need for both as crucial in building character?
I think this is exactly what makes the camp experience so positive for so many kids. Kids need a combination of autonomy and support, and it’s often difficult for them to get this at home or at school. It’s a hard balance to strike for any parent or any teacher. Parents are sometimes so wrapped up in the emotional lives of our kids that it’s hard for us to pull back and let them have the autonomy they need. Or we go too far in the other direction and don’t give them the kind of love and support they need.

I think when camps are able to get it right and convey to kids that they’re supported and they’re safe, but also that they can do things they never dreamed they could do, it becomes a transformative experience. Camp is a place where kids can finally get that important message.

At camp, children can take risks, make mistakes, learn about community, fail, and succeed in a nurturing environment. What do you think about children making their own mistakes?
Making mistakes is precisely how we develop character strengths. As one educator put it to me (and I quote him in the book), character strengths like grit and self-control are born out of failure. And in so many American schools and homes these days, kids don’t get a chance to fail anything.

But when we are honest with children about failure, they are able to better understand their potential and their abilities. They need to learn how to fail in a productive way — that failures are real and we don’t all win every game, but that failures are not a disaster. Instead, they are often important stepping stones on the path to success.

I think when kids experience failure in a manageable way when they’re young, it helps make future setbacks much more bearable. They need that opportunity to “practice” failing and learn failure is not the end of the world. Only after knowing this will they go out into the world — whether that’s college or beyond — and not be completely derailed by setbacks. They learn how to bounce back and see that there’s a way to do better next time.

Adapted from “Camp and Character: An Interview with Paul Tough.” Originally published in the 2013 March/April issue of Camping Magazine.

Photo courtesy of Cheley Colorado Camps, Estes Park, Colorado. 

Session Two's Boo Blog

       I write this blog to you, Dear Parents and Family Members, with a great big smile on my face and happiness in my heart.  I was the lucky one to get to play with your kids all afternoon yesterday, followed by watching the PF Talent Show last night, and preceded by seeing the kids at the horse show on Saturday…I have so much to tell you about and it is ALL GOOD!

            You have the dearest, sweetest, most hard working and delightful children!!! It has been our pleasure and honor to have them with us at Pony Farm this session.  We have not had one drop of homesickness, one unpleasant word, or one fuss between kids.  They have been good as gold and just plain fun all week long.  The weather has been less than ideal for a summer camp with major outdoor programming!  With threatening thunderstorms, rain and kind of dreary clouds, it has not dulled our sprits in the least.  They have been gung-ho for anything and everything offered to them, from lessons, to swimming in the rain, to evening activities galore, to even riding in the rain.  They smile through it all and have a ball.  They are a tribute to you and good parenting.  Thank you for bequeathing them to us this summer.

            Starting with the horse show prep and planning, the kids really worked hard.  They took their lessons seriously. I hope you share my observation that all the kids have made good progress during their first week of lessons this session. I watched kids compete in classes who had arrived a few short days before unable to steer or trot in a group. Trotting merrily along, posting and keeping their distance, to the last one, the girls did well in the show.  Others jumped around courses that the rain had prevented them from really working to perfect. With excellent perseverance and determination, they did course after course, both with jumps and trail obstacles.  I also loved the care and attention to detail that the teaching staff demonstrated with each kiddo.  It is no mean feat to receive a bunch of kids on Sunday afternoon and have them sorted out on the right mount, in the right classes and with the right coaches all in five short days!  This staff managed this with ease and fun. I was so proud of them all, kids and staff, alike.

            I was also delighted with the four kids who chose not to compete. For one good reason or another, they wanted to cheer on their friends and help staff the show rather than compete.  They helped pass out ribbons, helped me run the trail classes, clapped and encouraged, and generally were just plain pleasant to be around.  PS. They did get special kudos that night, I promise!

            So, with a happy show under our belt, followed by a fun, silly movie called Madagascar, they stumbled off to bed, happy but tuckered out.  The next morning they popped right out of bed for more fun and time together on a farm.

          Sundays is always my most favorite day of the week because we do not do the structure and formality of riding lessons and barn chores.  We just get to be together and enjoy the farm. 

               We get to be human “beings” instead of human “doings”! Typically, it is in the sun, but true to the weather pattern hanging over the farm this week, it was under cloudy skies with pretty good humidity.  After rooms were cleaned, laundry organized and a nice leisurely breakfast eaten in shifts, time to play in the pool, with the farm animals, and do arts and crafts began.  Everyone passed the swim test with ease and free swim was enjoyed by many.  Still others wanted to chat as they made bracelets, read books, chatted while watching the sheep graze, jumped the miniature horses, or just looked at the world go by.  I love watching the gaggles of girls overflowing with giggles. I think that this day is how the world ought to be in more places!

            After taking a dip myself, a bunch of us harnessed up Mike and Ben, our two newly donated Haflinger ponies, and started off on a leisurely hay ride down the road.  The kids were all able to go together, about 10 at a time.  We did two happy trips, with several kids helping do the actual driving of the pair of ponies.  We chatted and sang and admired the woodsy scenery.  I recalled once when one of the campers looked up at me on a similar afternoon of fun and said “You know, Boo, if more people traveled like this, there would be less wars.”  I have to say I am in total agreement with this little wise one!

            The kids then gathered in their rooms and in small groups to begin rehearsing for their Talent Show.  With multiple ‘acts’ on our list and great anticipation, we had a quick Sunday night dinner including chicken and mashed potatoes!  With the rain coming down, we all trooped off to the Indoor Arena for the highly awaited Talent Show.

            Skits, songs, gymnastics, Obstacle Courses, more dancing and singing, and even some Live Stand Up Comedy, it was a high time for us all.  It is a real tribute to your parenting and many miles of carpooling to and from lessons that these kids are so talented and versatile.  To the littlest one, they can stand up and ‘strut their stuff’ in front of the entire camp community without a hitch. I finally had to corral them to go back to the lodge for our Good Night Circle and Vespers after nearly two hours of fun and frolic.

            As all the girls and staff gathered around the Vesper Log ablaze with Candles and sang their hearts out, I settled back in my rocking chair, convinced that I was the most blessed person on Earth.  Hearing their sweet voices sing the line-up of favorite camp songs, and listening to all that they are thankful for during Good Night Circle, surely puts a pleasant spin on a week of hard work to get it all right.

I must say these days and evenings of simple enjoyment and celebration convince me that the world will continue in good ways.  With this much talent, compassion, ‘can do’ attitude and willingness to be a contributing part of a team, how can it not.  Thank you for bringing up such dear and caring children to be leaders for tomorrow!

Today, the kids will be swimming with the horses and having lessons. Tomorrow will feature an All Day Drive with members of our Driving Club.  More lessons will happen throughout the week as they negotiate jumping courses, the Hunter Pace, bareback, field trips, lungeing, vaulting, carriage driving, horsemanship and stable management…the list of activities goes on and on! It is never a dull minute, thanks to the enthusiasm of your kids.

We look forward to showing off their skills to you this coming Saturday. While we will be SAD to lose many of this session’s campers, we are eager to have you see what they learned and experience the camaraderie that has thrived this week.  Please plan to arrive between 9:30 and 10AM on Saturday, with a picnic for your family and your guests. We will serve refreshments and dessert. The girls will ride in their regular riding lesson with the Senior Staff explaining what skills have been honed and answering your questions.  This demo lesson will be followed by Specialties, which are the various other equine activities like riding or vaulting which took place during our session together.  This all wraps up about noon and its picnic time for all.

We will gather on the front lawn of the lodge to enjoy a last meal together.  Two members of our Touchstone Board of Directors will do a Mission Minute to tell you about the unfolding of the farm as a not for profit, including the exciting future to come. This will be short and sweet but we hope you will enjoy hearing what is in store at Touchstone Farm, home of Pony Farm, for future generations.  You can plan to leave by about 1 or 1:30…following your camper(s) saying good bye to staff, fellow campers and their ponies…I hope you can plan to stay for it all.

            Until then, please know that we are thrilled to be with your kids. We will work hard to make every hour special. We truly want to “Build Foundations which Last a Lifetime….” for your children.  See you on Saturday and thank you for sharing your children with us. It is a real treat.

                                                                                    Sincerely and warmly,

                                                                                    Boo…Founder and Spirit Keeper!