Messages for an Anxious Camper

July 12, 2012

Messages for an Anxious Camper

Guest post by Audrey Monke

“Children want to be independent, and they realize that they cannot be truly independent until they beat homesickness, even when they have a painful case of it.”
—Michael Thompson, PhD, Homesick and Happy

Recently I spoke with a mom whose eleven-year-old son is coming to camp in a few days. He’s nervous. He had a negative experience at a one-week science camp. He doesn’t think he can “make it for two weeks” and is worried he’ll be too homesick at camp. I chatted with the mom and gave her some key messages to communicate to her son. She asked for them in bullet points in an email, and I thought there are probably others who might benefit from this same list — so I’m sharing this with anyone who has a child suffering from pre-camp anxiety.

Before I share my list, let me say that if you are not a camp proponent and don’t plan on sending your child to camp, you should probably not read any further. I am a huge supporter of camp and just yesterday had a CIT (Counselor in Training) tell me that “Camp made her who she is today.” So, I think that camp is a great thing for building kids’ independence and confidence. I have also seen many kids work through some pretty painful emotions at camp, so I know that camp is not easy for all kids.

This post is for those of you who have decided that your child is going to camp, and especially for those of you who had a previously excited camper who is now having last-minute camp anxiety. Here are some messages you can give prior to dropping your camper at the bus or at camp. Pick and choose, and of course use your own words, but acknowledge your child’s feelings and empathize with them while holding firm in your confidence in their ability to succeed and your belief that camp will be good for them.

Without further ado, here are some messages to give to your anxious camper:

• Let them know that missing home is okay. 
  You may feel homesick, and that’s okay. A lot of kids feel that way. That just means that you love us and you love home. I feel homesick when I’m on trips, too. Missing home is part of life. But I know you can still have fun at camp, even if you feel sad sometimes.

• Reassure them that there are people at camp who will take care of their needs. 
  There are adults at camp (counselors, directors) who are there to take care of you and help you with anything you need. They can help with things you normally come to me about. Let them know if you are feeling sad, and they can help you. They have lots of experience working with kids who are away from home for the first time.

• Talk with your child honestly about the importance of starting to develop some independence. In Homesick and Happy, Michael Thompson writes, “Homesickness is not a psychiatric illness. It is not a disorder. It is the natural, inevitable consequence of leaving home. Every child is going to feel it, more or less, sooner or later. Every adult has had to face it and overcome it at some point in life . . . If you cannot master it, you cannot leave home.”
  Something along the lines of: It may seem like a long way off, but in a few years, you’ll be ready for college. I want you to feel confident in your ability to live away from me, so that you can choose any school you like, even if it’s far away from home. Think of camp like your practice time for when you’re older and ready to move away for school or a job. You’ll get better at being independent by starting now, when you’re young, with short spurts of time away. Some kids aren’t doing well when they start college because they don’t have any experience being away from home. I want you to feel great when you go to college, because you’ll know that you’ve already been successful with short camp stays.

• Share the reality that many good things in life come with some pain and failure. If you have a story from your own life of something that you had to work hard at or had to go through difficulties in order to master, this is a great time to share.
  Something along the lines of: Many good things in life aren’t easy at first. Learning a new sport or trying something new is really hard. Sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone to discover something you really love. If you never go through anything hard, you’re going to miss out on some great experiences. The first few days of camp may be hard, and that’s okay. I know you’ll work through it and figure out what makes you feel better. I have confidence in you, and I am so proud of you for going to camp and trying this new adventure!

• Make sure they know you want to hear about everything.
  Every day comes with its good and bad parts. When you’re at camp, I want you to write me letters and tell me all of the stuff that you’re doing and feeling. If you feel homesick at rest time, tell me about it, and also tell me what you did to help yourself. Did you talk to your counselor? Keep yourself busy playing cards with friends? Write me a letter? I also want you to share good stuff. Did you get your favorite food for lunch? Try rock climbing? Get up on a knee board? I want to hear both the good and bad things about camp in your letters.

• Let them know that you are confident in them.
  I am so excited that you get to go to camp this year. I know it’s going to be such a great experience for you and that you are ready for this. (If you went to camp, share with your camper what you liked about it and how you grew from the experience.)

• If your camper asks you if you will pick him up if he’s sad, you need to let him know that you are not going to pick him up early.
  Even if you’re a little homesick for the whole time you’re at camp, you’re going to feel so much better about the experience if you stick it out and make the best of it. Most kids feel better after a few days of getting settled in and adjusted, and I know you’ll feel great once you let yourself relax and just start enjoying all the fun things at camp. I’m not going to pick you up early, no matter what, because I know you will feel really proud of yourself for making it through camp, even if you have some hard days.

I would like to note that you do not need to use all of these messages, but instead, choose the ones you think will resonate most with your child. What’s most important is that you express confidence in your child and in the camp experience. These same messages would be great as responses to a sad letter you receive from your camper.

I always tell the kids that the fun and happy feelings at camp usually far outweigh any sad feelings. Many kids tell me they “don’t feel homesick at all,” but there are some who struggle, especially during their first summer. Those kids seem to grow the most and feel the most pride in their accomplishment of staying at camp. If you are feeling worried about how your child will do at camp, know that you are giving your child a precious gift by allowing them this special time where they get to grow their wings.

Adapted from Audrey’s original blog post at Sunshine Parenting.

Audrey Monke and her husband Steve have owned and directed Gold Arrow Camp (Lakeshore, California) for the past twenty-three years. They are raising their own five campers (ages 8–18) at home. Audrey writes about camp and parenting at sunshineparenting.wordpress.com.

http://www.acacamps.org/blog/parents-place

Gearing Up for Summer: What to Pack

Gearing Up for Summer: What to Pack

Before summer starts, make sure your camper is geared up — literally! — for all the fun activities at camp. Here are some tips when it comes to packing:

• Pack Light — Remember your camper will be living out of a duffel bag, trunk, or suitcase for the duration. Packing light helps campers keep track of items and guarantees that they can handle their own luggage at camp.
• Check Camp Packing Lists — Individual camps should provide a recommended camp packing list, complete with any required equipment, preferred footwear, etc. Be sure to carefully review what is needed, paying special attention to those items that may not be permitted at camp.
• Label, Label, Label — Laundry pens, iron-on labels, and press and stick labels will distinguish your camper’s belongings from those of other cabin or tent mates. Most camps ask that you label each item, including clothing, personal items, and toiletries. Make sure that your child can identify the label used.
• Wear Those Shoes! — Make sure that your child’s clothing and footwear are comfortable and appropriate. Sending a camper in brand-new hiking boots can result in sore feet and time spent sitting out of exciting activities.
• Plan Together — Decisions about camp, like what to pack, should be made together. The more ownership your camper has in these decisions, the easier the adjustment and transition to camp will be.

Families should contact their camp director for specific questions and packing suggestions. ACA’s Web site for families, CampParents.org, offers a head-to-toe packing list.

Photo courtesy of Victory Junction, Randleman, North Carolina
 

It’s Worth Letting Children Go….To Camp!

Posted February 6, 2013

“I could never send her away!” “(S)he’d never make it that long without me.”  “He’s ready, but I’m not.” 

Three simple statements overheard at a recent camp fair as parents perused their overnight camp options in a room full of camp displays and camp representatives.

Three worries that can prevent a child from getting to go to overnight camp.

 Separation is not easy emotionally—not when we leave young children for the first time with a relative, a neighbor, a babysitter, or even a friend.  And it’s not easy when we separate from children so they can thrive first in early childhood settings and next in elementary, middle and high school. Even though parents and teens have been preparing for years when time for college comes around, that separation is significant too.  And, we know that children—campers—who have had experience living away from home at overnight camp as younger children, who have already experienced separation successfully, are able to jump into the other aspects of adjusting to the whole new world of college.  Day and overnight summer camp experiences offer life lessons that build the kind of independence, resilience, and confidence that help college students succeed. 

Camp professionals carve out quite a lot of time to speak with prospective camper families at this time of the year: on the phone, at camp fairs and open houses, at camp reunions and home visits. You’ll find them available and ready to Skype, text or email if talking in person or on the phone is not an option. It’s a big decision to enroll a child in camp! You’ll find a lot of help to explore the fit between what a camp offers and what you and your prospective camper need and hope to find in a summer camp community. Here are a few ways to reframe statements like these overheard time and time again during the camp search season.

“I could never send her away!” You’re not sending the child away! The child gets to go!  Children’s camps are unique worlds designed for optimal child development. Child-centered learning and fun awaits. The entire experience pivots on what children need, what makes children thrive.  Summer camp experiences compliment and reinforce the learning that takes place at home and at school during the year. In addition to the support parents and families get from the camps they choose, there’s a lot of other support out there for the difficulty adults have in letting children go away to camp. And children who have had a part in helping make the big decision about which camp they attend have some skin in the game; they are not being sent away. Remember that children enter camp worlds where their parents and guardians only visit. Overnight campers leave adults and younger children in the family at home missing the child who is away! The adjustments are different for everyone. There’s a lot to explore about this topic. A book by school, parent and camp consultant, Michael G. Thompson, PhD, Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow is an excellent place to begin.

“(S)he’d never make it that long without me.”  Well, our children do need us! That’s established.  We welcome the most helpless mammals into the world. And they are dependent far longer than the young of other mammals; no question. But on that path from complete dependence to comprehensive independence, summer camp experiences play a significant, if not life-changing, role. Summer camps have contributed mightily to helping families raise children over the last century and a half. What summer camps offer to support optimal child development really cannot be found elsewhere.  The truth is that with the support of a summer camp community your son or daughter can make it for a time without you. How long a time is the question; the answer may surprise you! Session length is a critically important variable in the summer camp search. We encourage you to seek advice from camp professionals about session length.  The adults at camp won’t replace you. No one can. But, they’ll inspire and encourage growth and change that you cannot. And they’ll do it in partnership with you. Belonging to a summer camp community is a powerful, powerful experience.  Children cannot have that experience if parents don’t let them go.  This recent article, Summer Camp And The Process of Letting Go, by Deborah L. Jacobs, a senior editor at Forbes, articulates beautifully one parent’s perspective on letting her son thrive at a New England camp that’s not right around the corner from her home in New York City.

“He’s ready, but I’m not.” This is completely normal. In fact it happens all the time. Most of the time, children are ready to go to overnight camp before the adults in their lives are ready to let them go. The most important thing is to talk about it. Discuss a child’s readiness—with the child! And take some action to allow your child to experience safe independence—before it’s time for college!  This, like all progressions, begins with baby steps. Success with a few hours away quickly becomes a half-day away—and then a day, or several. One or two successful nights away from home, either with a relative or family friends, or on a youth group adventure can really set up a child for overnight camp success. Some month long camps say that all their youngest campers need to have accomplished is a successful night or two away from home.  Day camps sometimes offer an overnight experience to their campers—which is great fun for a camp community used to parting company at the end of the afternoon and a truly wonderful way to experience being away from home overnight for the first time with a group of friends and trusted adults. Campers receive all kinds of support for this important developmental milestone of sleeping away from home overnight. Sometimes parents and guardians feel support and sometimes they don’t. Here’s a great resource that makes taking this step much easier for the whole family, a key resource by Chris Thurber, school psychologist, parent, camp professional and consultant: Summer Camp Handbook, the award winning guide to summer camp for parents and kids…online and free.

As you’re sure to hear from parents who have let their children go to overnight camp, from the camp professionals who specialize in helping first-time overnight campers and families adjust to camp, and from teachers who welcome campers back to the classroom, by the end of camp, children have benefited enormously.  Of course what the benefits of camp look like varies from child to child—and is worthy of its own blog post.  Whatever the growth, it’s really exciting to witness as a camper returns home walking a little taller in their shoes, willing to take new risks, excited to share new skills and competencies, ready for the next challenge.  It’s worth letting children go….and benefit from the extraordinary world of summer camp.

 http://www.acanewengland.org/families-public/smore-about-camp-a-blog-for-camp-families

New Thinking Needed on Helping Kids Avoid or Cope with Homesickness

Newly published report gives children's doctors and parents specific guidance for helping kids deal with summer camp, hospitalization and other separations

ANN ARBOR, MI — A new report urges parents and children's doctors to change their thinking about homesickness among children, to see it as a nearly universal but highly preventable and treatable phenomenon — rather than an unavoidable part of childhood.

The report, published in the journal Pediatrics, gives parents and physicians specific guidance to help anticipate and lessen the distress that homesickness can cause among kids and teens at summer camps, hospitals, boarding schools and colleges.

The paper's authors are a clinical psychologist at one of the nation's leading boarding schools, Phillips Exeter Academy in New Hampshire, and a University of Michigan physician who specializes in camp health issues. They're also old friends who first met at summer camp more than 25 years ago.

It's the first time that the evidence about homesickness prevention and treatment, which has been gathered through years of psychological studies, has been presented for pediatricians and family doctors to use.

The authors and the American Academy of Pediatrics Council on School Health that sponsored the report hope that those physicians will add homesickness counseling to children's camp and school physicals, and to the care of hospitalized children. They also point out special issues for children who have attention deficit disorder or developmental issues — for example, the importance of continuing the use of medications for those conditions while at camp and not taking a "drug holiday."

"For over 100 years camps and schools have patted homesick kids on the back, tried to keep them busy and hoped it will go away," says lead author Christopher Thurber, Ph.D., the staff psychologist at Exeter, research consultant to the American Camp Association and author of a camp handbook for parents. "But research shows that it's healthier, and more effective to think about prevention. This report aims to get the message to parents and those who are taking care of kids before they go to camp."

One of the basic tips for parents and doctors is to talk to kids ahead of any separation, whether it's for camp, college or a hospital stay of even a few days.

"What parents say – and what pediatricians say — beforehand matters, and is very important for the intensity of homesickness," says Edward Walton, M.D., a U-M Health System assistant professor of emergency medicine and pediatrics who serves on the board of the American Camp Association (ACA) and was lead author of a 2005 AAP guideline on summer camp health that was produced in conjunction with the ACA.

One of the most important things for parents and doctors to recognize, and to say to kids before any separation, is that it's normal, not strange, to feel homesick. In fact, research has shown that 90 percent of children attending summer camp feel some levels of homesickness and that 20 percent face a serious level of distress that — if untreated — worsens over time and interferes with their ability to benefit from a camp experience.

Thurber's recent research compared the effectiveness of key preparation tools to camps' standard preparation. The results showed that a combination of coaching parents and educating children about effective coping actually lowered the intensity of first-year campers' homesickness by 50 percent, on average. 

ACA now publishes a DVD-CD set "The Secret Ingredients of Summer Camp Success" that makes these evidence-based homesickness prevention strategies publicly available for the first time. It also makes information available to parents online, as part of its effort to preserve, promote and enhance the camp experience for children and adults. ACA is also the only national organization that accredits camps, who must meet up to 300 health and safety standards to gain accreditation through the ACA.

In children whose separation from their parents is sudden and unplanned, such as hospitalization, as many as half experience moderate to severe levels of homesickness that can interfere with their functioning. In fact, Thurber says, special care needs to be taken with children who are hospitalized for an indefinite amount of time, because even a casual remark by a physician or nurse about when the child might be able to go home can cause severe distress and even interfere with care if that date arrives and the child is still in the hospital.

For more routine separations, such as the one million children who go away to school or the 12 million who attend residential (overnight) camp each year, homesickness can get in the way of the important character-building lessons that these experiences bring.

Some of the tips for parents and children's doctors:

• Involve children in the decision to spend time away from home, so that children have a sense of control.
• Tell children that homesickness is normal, but that they can use strategies like writing letters home, sharing their feelings with other people, and thinking about all the good things that camp or school is giving them, to help ease their worry.
• Arrange for a practice time away from home, such as a two- or three-day stay with relatives. If a child has reached high school without having gone to summer camp or more than a night away from home, this is especially important to prepare them for college or independent life.
• Practice writing letters, and supply pre-stamped, pre-addressed envelopes and paper before the child leaves home.
• Work with the child to learn about the camp, school, or hospital ahead of time, so they know what to anticipate.
• If possible, try to introduce them to other campers, counselors or teachers ahead of time. A familiar face can make all the difference in the adjustment to a new environment.
• Encourage kids, even older teens heading off to college, to make friends with others and seek out trusted adults to connect to.
• Before the separation, don't make comments that express anxiety or ambivalence about the child going away. Even "I hope you'll be okay" or "what will I do without you" can leave a child worried that something bad might happen to them or their parents, and make them preoccupied with thoughts of home.
• Use a calendar to show exactly the amount of time a child will be away, if that's known. Predictability and perspective on the length of separation is important whenever possible.
• Don't make a "pick up plan" or a deal with a child to bring he or she home if they don't like the experience of being away. This undermines the child's sense that their parents have confidence in their ability to be on their own, and set an expectation that they won't like the new experience.
• Warn children against keeping feelings of homesickness to themselves, doing something "bad" in order to get sent home or trying to escape.
• If your child takes medicine for attention, behavior or psychological conditions, don't use camp as an excuse to take a "drug holiday." Make sure that they, and the camp's nurse or counselors, know their medication schedule and the importance of sticking to it.
• If your child has special medical needs, such as diabetes or asthma, make sure that the camp or school they'll be going to has staff who knows how to handle day-to-day care and emergencies. Parents who have managed their child's care intensely can have an extra hard time giving up that control, and children can sense that anxiety.
• Above all, know whether your child is really ready for a separation. If you're not sure, ask their doctor – but not while the child can hear the conversation.

All in all, summer camp and other separations from home can be great "life training" experiences for children, building their independence and teaching self-reliance and social skills that they'll use throughout life, says Walton and Thurber, who met when they were boys at the YMCA's Camp Belknap on Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire, and worked there together this past summer.

Ultimately, they says, parents and pediatricians must work together to help children prepare for and cope with separations, while camp directors, boarding school staff, hospital Child Life specialists and others can help treat homesickness once it arises.

This article and others like it can be found on ACA New England - http://www.campparents.org/new-thinking-needed-helping-kids-avoid-or-cope-homesickness

Homesickness — Expert Advice for Parents

This summer, millions of children will get their first taste of independence at a summer resident camp. For many, it will also be their first experience with homesickness. But parents don't have to feel helpless when homesickness strikes. The prescription for camper homesickness is a simple solution of preparation and patience.

Phillips Exeter Academy psychologist Dr. Christopher Thurber studied homesickness in 329 boys between the ages of 8 and 16 at resident camp. According to his results, homesickness is the norm rather than the exception. A whopping 83 percent of the campers studied reported homesickness on at least one day of camp.

Thurber and the American Camp Association (ACA) suggest the following tips for parents to help their child deal with homesickness at camp:

• Encourage your child's independence throughout the year. Practice separations, such as sleepovers at a friend's house, can simulate the camp environment.
• Involve your child in the process of choosing a camp. The more that the child owns the decision, the more comfortable the child will feel being at camp.
• Discuss what camp will be like before your child leaves. Consider role-playing anticipated situations, such as using a flashlight to find the bathroom.
• Reach an agreement ahead of time on calling each other. If your child's camp has a no-phone-calls policy, honor it.
• Send a note or care package ahead of time to arrive the first day of camp. Acknowledge, in a positive way, that you will miss your child. For example, you can say "I am going to miss you, but I know that you will have a good time at camp."
• Don't bribe. Linking a successful stay at camp to a material object sends the wrong message. The reward should be your child's new found confidence and independence.
• Pack a personal item from home, such as a stuffed animal.
• When a "rescue call" comes from the child, offer calm reassurance and put the time frame into perspective. Avoid the temptation to take the child home early.
• Talk candidly with the camp director to obtain his/her perspective on your child's adjustment.
• Don't feel guilty about encouraging your child to stay at camp. For many children, camp is a first step toward independence and plays an important role in their growth and development.
• Trust your instincts. While most incidents of homesickness will pass in a day or two, Thurber's research shows that approximately seven percent of the cases are severe. If your child is not eating or sleeping because of anxiety or depression, it is time to go home. However, don't make your child feel like a failure if their stay at camp is cut short. Focus on the positive and encourage your child to try camp again next year.

• New Thinking Needed on Helping Kids Avoid or Cope with Homesickness
• The Secret Ingredients of Summer Camp Success
  by Dr. Christopher Thurber
  This DVD is every new camper family's roadmap to less homesickness and more fun.

http://www.campparents.org/homesickness

Talking about Camp with Your First-Time Camper

Posted: May 20, 2013 Credit to http://www.acacamps.org/blog/parents-place/talking-about-camp-your-first-time-camper

You’ve done your research, worked as a family to find the right camp for your child’s experience, and signed up your camper for the experience of a lifetime! Naturally, leading up to the big “First Day of Camp,” he or she might have questions, just like the first day of school. Encourage your child to talk about his or her feelings, and use this guide for talking about camp with your first-time camper!

Who will be my friends?
Reassure your camper that camp is all about making new friends! Some campers know each other from past summers or from school, but many come to camp in order to meet new friends. Camp counselors will help him or her make friends the very first day of camp. It's nice to have winter friends and summer friends — other kids with whom your camper shares special experiences.

Who will help me have fun at camp? How do they know how to care for me?
Group or bunk counselors are selected because they love working with kids. In fact, counselors are one of the best parts of camp! They are trained before camp begins to help campers have a good time, make new friends, and enjoy a variety of activities. Their job is to help campers have fun, be safe, and know their limits. They spend a lot of time before camp learning to do all these things for campers. And they love to have fun, too!

What if I have a problem?
There are lots of people at camp, besides counselors, to help take care of campers, depending on what they need. Let campers know that there is a nurse or a doctor if they don't feel well, and a special place, sometimes called a health center, to rest until they are better. Campers can count on the grownups that are at camp to help them with any problem they may have.

Will I be alright while I’m away from home?
Remind your camper of other times in his or her life that were spent away from home — sleepovers, a weekend a grandma’s, or even class trips. There’s no pressure to be anything but yourself at camp! The main point is just to relax and have fun. Remember to stay excited and positive about the camp experience. Talking at length about how much you will miss your camper can increase his or her anxiety. BONUS: Send a familiar object, such as a stuffed animal or blanket, with your camper. Send a letter or card in advance for your child to have the first day of camp.

For more tips on preparing for camp, visit www.CampParents.org.

Photo courtesy of Camp Kupugani, Leaf River, Illinois

Summer Camp: Can It Make Kids More Responsible?

By Erika Christakis July 10, 2012

There aren’t a lot of Harvard students who’ve worked as camp counselors, but I can usually spot them: they have a combination of flexibility and interpersonal savvy that makes them good leaders. I always thought that the kind of person who chooses to be a camp counselor is likely already an affable and mature person. But many educators have come to recognize that summer camp, and specifically being a counselor, fosters precisely the skill that we value so highly in young adults: taking responsibility. Caring for younger children helps teenagers learn how to be more mature themselves.

(MORE: Erika Christakis and Nicholas A. Christakis: Is Empathy the New Scapegoat?)

Interaction within mixed-age groups is increasingly rare, undoubtedly a by-product of our “overprogrammed child” culture, with soccer leagues even for preschoolers who can’t find the goalpost. Girls can still gain this valuable experience through babysitting (though it seems like fewer girls are taking on such work), but for boys it is much harder. As Michael Thompson, the author of Raising Cain, pointed out recently at the Aspen Ideas Festival, teenage boys face something of a Catch-22 in that adults are reluctant to give an immature teenage boy responsibility for the young kids who would help him mature. Overnight summer camps provide just such a mentoring opportunity through an incremental leadership pathway that enables teenagers, usually starting at age 14 or 15 as counselors in training, to assume increasing levels of responsibility for kids.

Peter Swain, executive director of YMCA Camp Fuller, in its 125th year serving youth on the shores of Rhode Island and one of the oldest camps in the nation, is explicitly aware of this learning opportunity. “Seeing young, anxious campers grow into confident, capable leaders is why I have continued to do this job,” he says. “It’s great to see camp staff carry their camp values into their college and working life — it really means that the work of camp has meaning to society.” As Swain notes, “The path from camper to young staff is well-worn and thus clear to follow. And the role models are obvious and always there to see.”

(MORE: How ‘Kidsick’ Parents Stay Connected (Obsessively) with Their Kids in Summer Camp)

Camps also provide a safe place for young staff to make mistakes without dire consequences. One of my sons, for example, now 17, learned to windsurf at camp, where he joined a special leadership track for senior campers in his final year. He returns to camp this summer as a junior counselor, teaching windsurfing to younger children. The gravity of supervising children in open water is not lost on him, but he feels up to the task because he’s surrounded at all times by senior staff and he knows the water and equipment well. There are few other situations where a young adult can take on a serious leadership role with as much responsibility and careful guidance as in a camp.

A study of 4-H camp counselors in Ohio (some as young as 14) showed increased leadership skills and improved motivation to stay in school and plan for the future. Many of the counselors were also able to learn from unsuccessful strategies they tried, like the fact that simply yelling at children doesn’t necessarily make them compliant.

Traditional summer camps do such a great job of supplementing the work of parents and schools that we often miss the complexity of what they’re up to. Some people think of camp counseling as a frivolous endeavor, something for big kids who can’t quite cut the umbilical cord of childhood. The stepwise leadership structure — which virtually guarantees high percentages of alumni staff — can create the impression that camp jobs are not real work on par with college internships in the financial industry or working in a lab but something more like a nostalgic hobby. Even high school students worry that a summer-camp job isn’t substantive enough to put on a college application.

(MORE: The Agony of Forging the Perfect Summer-Camp Schedule for Kids)

But if we are serious about developing young leadership, we should get over these parochial views and take steps to make camp counseling more common. We should consider a tax credit or financial aid for counselors who might otherwise take a better-paying job. And employers and college-admissions officers need to hear how the camp-counselor experience prepares successful young adults through teamwork, empathy, cross-cultural understanding, ability to work with subordinates and superiors, creativity, working under pressure and managing with limited resources.

In most societies throughout history, older children have always cared for younger children. The anthropologist Margaret Mead called caretaking a “pivot” role: a person doing something for someone else that was once done for him or her. As she trenchantly noted: “Just as a child is getting old enough so that its willfulness is becoming unbearable, a younger one is saddled upon it … each child being disciplined and socialized through the responsibility for a still younger one.” Among all the foregoing benefits, here’s yet one more: camp counselors may come to appreciate their parents’ hard work too.

MORE: The Purpose-Driven Summer Camp 

Erika Christakis @erikachristakis

Christakis, M.P.H., M.Ed., is an early childhood educator and Harvard College administrator who blogs at ErikaChristakis.com. The views expressed are solely her own.

Read more: http://ideas.time.com/2012/07/10/aummer-camp-can-it-make-kids-more-responsible/#ixzz2VL9whuD0